My husband tells me I need to stop anticipating the birth of our baby. Only when I stop anticipating, will it come.
Letting go and trusting are two challenging actions we humans must face.
I have been working on the art of letting go in my yoga and meditation practice for years now, years. In essence we let go every time we step onto the mat, or at least we try to. Kripalu yoga has a third and final stage known as “meditation in motion”. It’s the stage in which our practice moves beyond physical postures and breath, beyond coherent thought, beyond ourselves. We surrender, or let go, and trust in the primal and intuitive actions of the highest self. It’s when we are in this third stage that we receive.
Massage is much the same. When we allow someone to touch us, we must let go of some of our inhibitions. We must trust that they will not harm us, that they will be respectful of our bodies, and that they will nurture us. When we find a therapist we can let go with and trust in this way, we receive work that is deep and profound.
Babies are born into this trust. They are born with the ability to receive because it’s all they can do. So in fact we have all at one time experienced this extreme letting go and trust in another person, and through experiences our ability to receive is shaped.
How do you receive? Do you easily let go and trust?
In the past few months this practice has intensified for me. I have been working to let go and trust in the business and life I have built. Taking time off is hard for me. And even though in this case it will be joyful and full of amazing new experiences, it is still hard. It’s hard because I have worked diligently to build this business, this life. I have poured my everything into it. I have built wonderful relationships with you, my students, and clients. And now all of that hangs suspended. I’m a planner, and I have no way to plan what life will be like post-baby. Hence my anticipation. Hence my need to let go, trust, and then receive.
Today I went to see a new massage therapist. She was gentle, caring. Her touch (like every one’s is) was different. I had to breathe, and let myself relax into the new sensations. I had to trust in her ability, and my own. It took some time, but by the end of the session I had received the nurturing that I needed.
I saw a client coming to get a massage after me. (And don’t get me wrong, this is what I have encouraged my clients to do. Please go out and try new therapists while I am away!) But again I had to breathe, let go, and trust.
My due date has now come, and almost gone. This baby seems happy to stay in his cozy nook awhile longer. How long? I have no way of knowing. I have to breathe, let go, and trust that when he is ready I will receive him in my arms.
It’s hard work, this art of receiving. But I know that the practice of letting go and trusting, makes the gifts that come that much more amazing.